It helps bring us back to the love we have for each other. I have thought, to my shame, that I wouldn't have married him, knowing what I know now, as long as the adult children were still in the home. After all, my wife has to deal with just as much, actually more baggage, concerning me. My point with both yous husband, and you stepchildren, and your in-laws have already been burnt twice, and they refuse to be burnt a third time. He believes that his kids felt they were abandoned by him because he remarried and had two more sons. She's grateful that her son has found someone else to love.
Peter also had a huge appetite for sex and demanded it 2-3 times per day. Of course like most men he is afraid of losing all his assets and his daughter. I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, as I have been away from the site for a while. And you have to let go of worrying about what happened in your spouse's marriage. And, with divorce so recent in Ireland, it is surely even tougher for Irish second wives to cope with the problems. How do you put your partner first? And in many cases, the first wife may be entitled to a portion of his pension, life insurance or other assets, so make sure you and your partner have a serious talk about your financial situation and get your affairs in order before walking down the aisle. But if not, we won't judge them, only guide.
When you meet another member, there is an imperceptible sigh of relief, knowing that they relate only too well to what you are going through. I thought that having a child with him would make us bond together more, but it didn't. It sounds like you guys have a lot to handle but that is great that you were able to get help. He often gets drunk and expects my sober ear to hear his stories about how he feels so bad for the things he did to these other women and children, how he feels bad for not being there for his other kids and blaming me for all of his misdeeds. At this moment in life, it becomes a difficult struggle for the second wife to pass through easily. There is some literature out there on this topic, if you want to study this in-depth. They have helped in in times of financial need and so on.
That was two and a half years ago. We have a 9 month old together, but he still favors his daughter and cannot seem to cut communication with his ex. That was his 'real' family, I am his consolation in his old age. I remember my husband telling me that one time she got upset and told him…. Partnership ends - parenthood never does The conflict potential grows where children are involved. Being second wife is nothing but a torture.
On the plus side, he's always been wonderfully inclusive with my daughter. Women tend to need love and affection. All of that financial mess can translate into a financially difficult second marriage. Be patient with yourself and your spouse. I have always felt like I was not something special, but just another in a long line of his conquests which is probably quite true--I'm just the one who stuck with it instead of throwing him to the curb. Thank you for your attention. Experts say that men who give up easily on their first marriage tend to give up on the second too.
We have no children together,thankfully. If I had the courage I would get out of this marriage and live alone, because I don't want to cause anyone else the type of pain I have felt. Reading your article gave me hope. As a mother I sure wouldn't want the father of my children to have a second wife! I am currently crying after reading this article and the comments because I can relate so heavily to certain parts. Her dad told us to not do anything or say anything - that his ex would take care of it.
These things take time, and that's okay! One girlfriend feels nauseated every time her husband speaks to his 26-year-old daughter and goes all gooey and adoring, calling her 'darling' and 'sweetie' as if, she says, he's speaking to his young lover. No wonder with all those romantic ideals with which we are constantly deluged by the media brainwashing us: Our love is supposed to be something special, unique. What are his or her needs? I feel a lot of what you shared in your post. I don't do the hard discipline. He does not want me to know where he is only that he will be back afterwhile. I'm so sick of seeing photos from my husbands previous marriage at my in-laws. Omg so bad for the children, unnecessary distraction from his real responsibilities.
She was a second wife , twice. Well, that was obviously a bad move and, evidently, commenting at all was poor taste in their eyes, from which I was never forgiven. So often portrayed as the wicked stepmother, the bitch from hell, she's assumed to have it all her own way. There's something about saying those words that reminds both of you that you love each other, in spite of the challenges and the complications. My advice a good dose of common sense goes a long way, and when it gets really tough seek out counselling. That everything can be taken on a split second.
Second Marriage Problems Many couples face second marriage problems. Second was momentary and spontaneous, or the other way around: superficial. If anyone has any advice or could help me to understand this I would greatly appreciate it. Most second wives accept this, but what happens when the financial distribution does not seem fair? And lets not forget about the finances. LegalMatch matches you to pre-screened lawyers in your city or county based on the specifics of your case.